Reviewed by Henry Bernice for TheHumbleHeckler.com
(Editor’s note: Film critic/historian Henry Bernice has been struck by lightning seven times. Keep this in mind when reading the following article.)
Later this year, Tobe Hooper’s game-changing, genre-redefining, slasher/exploitation classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre will celebrate its golden anniversary. That’s right, it’s been fifty years since Leatherface first unleashed 83 minutes of hell on unsuspecting audiences. Strangely, the movie’s great innovation lies in its total lack of innovation. TCM revels in a stripped-down aesthetic so threadbare the film print itself looks like it’s been through a barfight, a hangover, and an argument with the little missus, before trudging off to the theater to be projected. Just watching it, you can smell the BO, the putrefied flesh, and the bad breath. Heck, this may be the first film ever to give principal roles to sweat stains. And yet, it’s precisely that brand of backwoodsy realism that has created legions of ravenous fans whose passion for (and knowledge of) all things TCM is almost as psychotic as Leatherface himself. So, in honor of the film turning the big five-o and the fans who keep the TCM flame burning, here are five things you couldn’t possibly know about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
(1) The film was originally titled The Wisconsin Pointy Stick Massacre. It’s hard to believe now, but director Tobe Hooper and his production team actually set out to make a movie about a stick-wielding lunatic who stalked and slaughtered a collection of lost motorists. They even filmed for six weeks in Wisconsin before realizing the film wasn’t working. “In our defense, that stick was really pointy,” Hooper said in a 1976 interview with Scuzzy Films Magazine. “I mean, it wasn’t sharp enough to kill someone, but you could definitely leave a banger of a scratch.” Ultimately, Hooper and company shut down the production and returned to Austin to lick their wounds. It wasn’t until a few weeks later, during a chainsaw juggling lesson, that Hooper would find the inspiration to move forward with the project.
(2) The film poster’s now-iconic tag line “Who will survive and what will be left of them?” was actually a last-second replacement. The film’s producers had been struggling to find the perfect tag for months. Co-writer Kim Henkel wanted the tag to be: “If you don’t drop a deuce in your pants, we’ll refund the price of your ticket.” Meanwhile, Hooper wanted to the tag to read: “Terror so real you’ll question your marriage … and probably drop a deuce in your pants.” Eventually, friends and colleagues convinced Henkel and Hooper that referencing defecation in the tag didn’t make any sense, and they reluctantly settled for the tag we all know and love.
(3) William Shatner secretly auditioned for the role of Sally Hardesty. “Yeah, that was really something,” Hooper said on an interview show called Wake Up, Dallas, while promoting Poltergeist in 1982. “[Shatner] showed up in drag, talking in a high, lilting feminine voice. He didn’t fool anybody. We all knew who he was. Hell, he didn’t even bother to shave. But, since he’d gone to all the effort, we decided to let him read. And he damn-near won the role. No kidding. Bill knocked it outta the park. In fact, we saw hundreds of women for that role, and it all came down to him and Marilyn Burns. Of course, in the end, we had to choose Marilyn. But it was a much closer call than you’d expect.”
Over the years, Shatner’s audition exploits have become the stuff of legend in Hollywood power circles. Fun fact: Screenwriter Larry Gelbart credits Shatner’s antics as the inspiration for his screenplay Tootsie, for which he would receive an Academy Award nomination.
(4) The films legendarily difficult shooting conditions have been exaggerated. Over the decades since the film wrapped, fans have been inundated with tales of heat stroke, unbearable odors, and twenty-hour workdays. But Hooper tells a different story. “The PR department drummed up those crazy stories as a way to market the film,” said Hooper in a 1991 interview with Canadian Root Beer Enthusiast. “No one wants to hear that a horror movie shoot went smoothly. People want to hear about curses and poor working conditions and crap like that. In reality, every actor had their own staff of personal servants. They even had private chefs. Marilyn’s contract even specified that she be transported to and from the set by rickshaw. As for the heat, every single shot of that film was created on a soundstage. If anything, we had to turn down the AC, because some of our precious artists were getting the shivers. You wouldn’t believe how spoiled the cast actually was. Once I saw Gunnar being carried to his trailer on the back of a Sherpa. Talk about lazy. And don’t get me started on John Dugan. That prima donna hired fashion models to coat the ground he walked on in a layer of rose petals.” When asked how he dealt with the pressure of dealing with such an entitled cast, Hooper said, “Whenever it all got to be too much, I’d take a break and go hit a bucket of balls with my instructor on my private driving range.”
(5) The TV version of the film was insane. Believe it or not, the unexpected popularity of TCM was too enticing for network executives to ignore. NBC gave Hooper an additional $3 million to shoot new footage to replace the scenes that were too graphic for TV and to pad the runtime enough to allow the film to fill two hours of network airtime. As a joke, Hooper reimagined the film as a screwball family comedy about the domestic misadventures of newlyweds Sally Hardesty and Leatherface. To everyone’s surprise, the network loved it. In fact, Hooper was hired to oversee the adaptation of the TV version of TCM into a traditional sitcom—and, unbelievably, he did. The pilot episode of That’s My Leatherface! aired on September 13, 1979. Unfortunately, CBS unveiled its latest sitcom, Benson, in the same time slot, leaving That’s My Leatherface! largely ignored by the public. The series was cancelled after six episodes and a series of scathing reviews by confused TV critics.
So there you have it, lovers of the chainsaw. Happy 50th! And here’s to 50 more years of drippy, sweaty, disgusting fun.
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